The Igbo people have a saying – “Ọkụkọ chi ụmụ adịghị arahu na enu” which loosely translates that “A hen with chicks does not sleep atop trees.” Many mothers have decided to sleep atop trees, while their children tun into undesired elements of society. There are women who have found an excuse to be bad mothers, just because the man is irresponsible or not. They call it equality – breaking even.
I want to use this age-old adage to discuss one topic that has been given me great worry concerning some mothers of this generation. You see, we now live in a world where some mothers who are meant to be role models to their children (especially their daughters) have decided to “sleep on trees” for their Individual satisfaction and gains. But they forget that parenthood is a sacrifice and duty which requires decorum.
By the misinterpretation of westernization, some of our African mothers have forgotten their divine role in the molding of a child. Although the upbringing of a child is a duty for both parents, there is a reason why mother nature gave the woman breasts and such a tender heart. There is a reason why it is the African mother (woman) who carries the pregnancy.
We now have mothers who encourage their daughters to sleep outside with various men for money – mothers who tell their sons that it is OK to “make money at all cost.” Even it if it meant stealing. We have mothers who abandoned their duties at home to attend to business and let their children run wild in the neighborhood.
We have mothers who sleep around with men and sometimes bring the men home in the presence of their kids. We know that there are men who abandon their duties to their wives, and are always on the road, but that is not enough reason for the mother to jump on the road too.
One particular scenario which I have noticed is mainly women who run restaurants and beer parlors. 70% of these women find nothing wrong with men making advances at their daughters. As a matter of fact, they encourage it. Some of the women go as far as sleeping with these men and passing their daughters to the men too, just to get more money.
There are women who have found an excuse to be bad mothers, just because the man is irresponsible. They call it equality – breaking even. They say: “since my husband stays out till 10 pm, then it is only right that I stay out till 10 pm, and if the kids need food, we will get a nanny/house help to feed them.” But the truth is that the African mother is the nurturer of the earth and thus cannot be wayward just to measure shoulders with the man.
If you are a mother, please do your best to set the best examples for your children. Sacrifice your urge to be a girl who runs around town. Motherhood comes with maturity – it is a spiritual duty.
NB: This article does not endorse waywardness on the side of men. It does not also say that women don’t have a right to a good life. It only preaches that parenthood is not for kids and the role of the mother in molding the character of a child is of great importance.
Article Written By Chuka Nduneseokwu